Smokers = Litterbugs

I had folks over to my house this past weekend, and everyone was respectful. Just a few spilled drinks and one smoker. Alcohol on my stain resistant carpeting, I can deal with if it gets wiped up promtply. But what I just can't understand is why I have to go outside under my deck to clean up all the damn cigarette butts. I'm glad the smoker respected my domicile by not lighting up inside, but what I don't understand is why the respect ends there. Pretty much, every smoker that has lit up exhibited the same disrespecting behavior. Flicking of nasty, ashy butts out into the yard that I cherish. I know cig littering occurs everywhere, literally. But this is my blog, so I'm only talking about me.

Now I know there are some smokers out there, do you have cig butts all over your yard?

I was curious, so I did a little late night research. Why do smokers litter? Here's the results of a British study:

1. They don’t regard butts as litter – “they’re only small, what can it matter?”


2. Lack of receptacles – especially wherever wide scale indoor smoking bans have been implemented


3. Behavioiural studies report that if a smoker is not within 3 metres of a bin when they finish a cigarette, the butt is littered


4. Fear of starting fires in a rubbish receptacle


5. Belief that councils, local municipalities, stormwater drains, street sweepers etc will clean up the mess


6.  Films and other media have portrayed casually flicking or dropping a butt as a cool image

I agree with the messsage provided at BUTTsOUT.net. To stop this disrespect of my property, this is what I'll do:

1.     Apply classical punishment and reward paradigms

For every butt you flick, I will take an unlit cigeratte, light it, and burn your ass on every exposed piece of skin I see until the flame goes out. Then i will show you how to properly dispose of trash. When you put to practice your new knowledge, you will be rewarded by enjoying yourself with the rest of guests inside, instead of freezing your ass outside!

2. Use principles of adult learning

How about I kick your ass if you still can't learn?!

3.  Ensure wide spread availability of a positive alternative

I have a real good, positive alternative. Take your ass home and litter all over your own place!

4.  Deploy the proximity principle

I'm not putting an ash tray, nor a trash can on my deck. FUGGETUBOUDIT! You know how gum chewers keep the wrappers for later usage? Drinkers keep the lids to the bottle for later usage? Smokers need to keep their own damnn butts until they get near a trash can.

Or better yet, just stop smoking. It's not cool anymore.