Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Smokers = Litterbugs

I had folks over to my house this past weekend, and everyone was respectful. Just a few spilled drinks and one smoker. Alcohol on my stain resistant carpeting, I can deal with if it gets wiped up promtply. But what I just can't understand is why I have to go outside under my deck to clean up all the damn cigarette butts. I'm glad the smoker respected my domicile by not lighting up inside, but what I don't understand is why the respect ends there. Pretty much, every smoker that has lit up exhibited the same disrespecting behavior. Flicking of nasty, ashy butts out into the yard that I cherish. I know cig littering occurs everywhere, literally. But this is my blog, so I'm only talking about me.

Now I know there are some smokers out there, do you have cig butts all over your yard?

I was curious, so I did a little late night research. Why do smokers litter? Here's the results of a British study:

  1. They don’t regard butts as litter – “they’re only small, what can it matter?”

  2. Lack of receptacles – especially wherever wide scale indoor smoking bans have been implemented

  3. Behavioiural studies report that if a smoker is not within 3 metres of a bin when they finish a cigarette, the butt is littered

  4. Fear of starting fires in a rubbish receptacle

  5. Belief that councils, local municipalities, stormwater drains, street sweepers etc will clean up the mess

  6.  Films and other media have portrayed casually flicking or dropping a butt as a cool image

I agree with the messsage provided at To stop this disrespect of my property, this is what I'll do:

1.     Apply classical punishment and reward paradigms
For every butt you flick, I will take an unlit cigeratte, light it, and burn your ass on every exposed piece of skin I see until the flame goes out. Then i will show you how to properly dispose of trash. When you put to practice your new knowledge, you will be rewarded by enjoying yourself with the rest of guests inside, instead of freezing your ass outside!

2. Use principles of adult learning
How about I kick your ass if you still can't learn?!

3.  Ensure wide spread availability of a positive alternative
I have a real good, positive alternative. Take your ass home and litter all over your own place!

4.  Deploy the proximity principle
I'm not putting an ash tray, nor a trash can on my deck. FUGGETUBOUDIT! You know how gum chewers keep the wrappers for later usage? Drinkers keep the lids to the bottle for later usage? Smokers need to keep their own damnn butts until they get near a trash can.

Or better yet, just stop smoking. It's not cool anymore.


At 12:26 AM, Blogger Curvy said...

First on deck! I feel the same way about smokers. I think you should lock their ass outside on the deck until they learn, occasionally cracking the door open so they can hear how much fun the non-smokers are having inside. :)

At 3:55 AM, Blogger coley said...

Sup Jez Chill! I'm with Curvy.... That shit is nasty and there's nothing more irritating than inconsiderate people! At least you only had 1 smoker instead of several... You'd still be out there cleaning that shit up :) Or in jail for beatin that ass!

At 9:31 AM, Blogger Call 2 Arms said...

Seems like a smoker would carry a cup to catch their ashes.

I waiver between pity, annoyance and confusion with smokers. They are addicted to something they know is or will kill them. Knowing cigs are addictive why do these idiots start the habit and affect others?
Why, why, why, smoke a life away?

At 11:02 PM, Blogger B.E.G said...

*Nodding my head in agreement with Curvy*

At 11:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Smokers leaving their butts and smoking up my airspace in general peave me. The government let people happily smoke themselves, and by second hand others, to death and why? $$$ I'm all for the adult learning method... what was it... kicking their ass?

AussieKat (can't remember my dang password to log in *arghh:)

At 9:19 AM, Blogger Sunnchine said...

ROFL! That is so true. I agree with your last comment:

Or better yet, just stop smoking. It's not cool anymore.


At 1:14 PM, Blogger Don Tate II said...

I charged my daughter a dollar for every butt I found in my back yard. $40 later, she moved out.

At 1:42 PM, Blogger Jez Chill said...

@Don: Wow, I have to assume there was a nother reason for her moving out. It can't be so serious that you daughter couldn't find a more appropriate way to dispose of her trash. Tell me it ain't so!!!

At 8:01 PM, Blogger E to the dwige said...

LMAO @ your rules! I'll have to remember them for my next summer party.

At 9:14 PM, Blogger Shana said...

I totally agree. . . I had a cookout last summer at my crib and the damn smokers left cigarette butts all over my yard (I didn't allow them to smoke inside)

At 6:46 PM, Blogger Rainmayun said...

Cigarrettes are going out of style, but cloves are in style in a BIG way with certain circles in DC. People mostly seem to smoke them the way they drink... socially, not so much as a daily habit. Also, the smoke is a lot less irritating than cheap tobacco smoke. That's because the clove leaves have aromatics in them... but they also have oils which when burnt are 3 times worse for you than tobacco smoke... go figure.


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