Thursday, April 21, 2005

King's Ransom

You should really thank me for this post. I'm about to save you a whole lot of agony. First of all, support black movies. If we don't, who will. Secondly, don't waste a second of your time or a penny, or your date's nickle on the most pathetic excuse for a movie since Soul Plane. I'm talking about the movie King's Ransom. I just saw a premiere of it. Oh, was that a mistake, now I get to warn all of my blog readers from ruining their weekend! I did laugh during the movie. But those rare moments were not enough. It was basically a movie full of punchlines that were thrown together to make a film. Punchlines are funny when they are given in the right context. The plot, the writing, the producing, the out of focus camera shots, all pathetic!!! Aside from the few chuckles the movie will give you, the next most noteworthy part of the movie is all of the cleavage. I swear, I saw more cleavage in the movie than I saw at Strokers or Magic City! But the difference is, it wasn't the good cleavage. it was like watching your aunt show too much of her goods at the family reunion or something. Bernie Mac's tv mom, Kellita Smith, was showing way too much. Nicole Ari Parker, from Showtime's Soul Food, is a beautiful and talented actress that probably killed any chances of being in a future blockbuster film. I didn't mind seeing her goodies though. Loretta Devine played her usual role. Thankfully, she was the only one that didn't show any goodies. Charlie Murphy (Eddie's bro) played his typical gay felon role. Donald Faison played his typical goofy role. And cut that goofy-ass mole off your lip. It only looked cute on Cindy Crawford!Anthony Anderson should have found a better film to get his first staring role in.

On second thought, don't support all black films.

Well, I'm off to pack for Myrtle Beach. This should be an interesting trip.

9 Comments:

At 9:20 AM, Blogger Sunnchine said...

I had absolutely N-O plans to go and see that flick. It didn't really look like it would have been a "good" movie at all. I guess I was right, huh?

And have fun at Myrtle beach!

 
At 11:20 AM, Blogger Rainmayun said...

I think what you meant to say was "support GOOD black movies"....

 
At 11:28 AM, Blogger Call 2 Arms said...

I'm looking forward to The Interprter

 
At 11:50 PM, Blogger Ja-me said...

Thanks for the heads up.

 
At 11:53 PM, Blogger coley said...

Have fun on your trip...Thanks for the warning, even though I hadn't even heard of that movie yet. :)

 
At 12:15 AM, Blogger Rene Merced Jr said...

It couldn't have been any worse than Diary of a Mad Black Woman... or is it THAT level of bad?

 
At 3:03 PM, Blogger Jez Chill said...

Chevonne: All the best lines in the movie were captured in the trailer, so you already saw the best parts!

Rainmayn: True.

Call: Me too!

others: Thanks!!!

Myrtle Beach was real pleasant. Weather cooperated!

 
At 9:47 AM, Anonymous Tiffany said...

Thanks for the review. Although when I saw the previews of it when we went to see another "Black" film that turned out to be a Blockbuster hit (Go Tyler!), I knew it wasn't going to be something I would run out to catch. Just like that Johnson Family Vacation, we didn't catch that mess 'til we had run out of things to rent at Blockbuster!

Myrtle Beach was a'ight. We went there on vacation last year...It got better when we finally discovered the Starbucks on the beach side the night before we were to leave. Ain't that a ...

 
At 12:02 PM, Blogger courtneyelizabeth said...

The Interpretor was GOOD....
and i wasnt ever planning to see "King's Ransom"....just didnt look appealing....

 

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