Bye Bye Bachelor

The time has come, to say "goodbye" to my bachelor days, and "Hello" to my bright future as I start a new family! Looking back, I have no regrets. I have been there, done that, made hundreds of friends (or at least associates), and left a positive impact on everything I touched. That was all training for what lies ahead.

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So at last, this limbo state of being engaged is over with. What is being engaged? You're not single, you're not married... I didn't think this part out too well. When I proposed, I was expecting to get married soon after. The engagement period & wedding was no where on my mind. So now after this weekend, I will finally get back to where where I saw myself going when I decided to purchase a ring.

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The engagement period was very beneficial though since the pre-maritcal counseling set up a excellent foundation to build a relationship on. So for anyone that's thinking about getting married, even it's not the 1st time, I strongly advise you attend couseling first. I'm just like most guys... I didn't want to go. But after I went, I'm glad I did.

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Now it's time to say goodbye. Jez Chill has graduated! To the new Mrs. Chill, I Love You! Looking forward to a life full of adventures that we will share together.

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Surprise!

I wake up one morning, and think this is going to be a crazy day. It was a day I planned on making another visit to the county's commissioner meeting to protest a developer that has neglected my neighborhood. One of those things where you have to stand up and make your voice be heard. Because if you don't, who will? So I'm missing work, and the time keeps passing by since it appears that those in good favor with the politicians keep getting moved up in front of the case I'm interested in. A case that started off at the TOP of the agenda. Anyways, 3 hours later, the case was judged in my favor.

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My cell phone's ringing, it's the soon-to-be Mrs. with a lunch request. So I rush to work to not keep her waiting, and to make my appearance known after being away from the job for so long. I get to my desk, and there she is... looking so beautiful. I then go to make my appearance known, but wait a minute, my entire management line is standing around! Oh crap!!! I'm busted!!! I'm about to get reprimanded, suspended, something. Whatever it was, I didn't think it would be good.

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So I announce that I'm back, and my lead reacts like he is more relieved then surprised. Wasn't the response I was expecting. Then he had already met my fiance'. More weird. So I tried to avoid my manager and director, and sneak off to lunch, but the Mrs pushes me into the conference room. WTH? Inside, I see my manager & director, looking dead at me. I'm like, oh crap, I'm about to get it now!

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I now see that there are about 20 folks in the conference room... so I'm just filled with confusion. 1> My lead's acting weird. 2> My lady just pushed me. 3> My manager & Dirctor are staring at me after I've been gone unannounced for 3 hours 4> 20 co-workers are just staring at me. I'm like a deer in headlights!!! Then I see the pizza, and cake: "Congratulations Derrick!"

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This was definitely a surprise. I know I didn't seem happy or surprised, cause I was scared & confused. But I was definitely unaware of what was planned, and appreciative of everyone's effort & contribution. Sorry for keeping everyone waiting around for 30 mins. It took another 3 hours or so for my heart pace to return to normal.

Bullseye

I took a gun safety course this weekend, and displayed my skills in the shooting range. Check out the results! I think I did pretty darn good. I was not stressed going in, but I was definitely more relaxed when I left. There was a thug wanna-be in the class. He was obviously one of those ignant folks who try to follow all the ignant lyrics. He was aiming for head, and not following any of the proper techniques. After he saw how off his aim was, he realized the gangsta technique wasn't going to work. The lady next to me aimed so badly, I thought she was going to shoot my target!

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GO CAVS

I know this isn't a sports blog, but I just have to express my Cleveland Cavaliers pull off playoff victories!!! There's no doubt that the Pistons are a better team, but their last lost to the CAVS let me known loud & clear that the CAVS are a team that deserves repect! Give Lebron the MVP he earned! It's been 8 years since I last had a chance to cheer in the playoffs. Now that Jordan is gone, maybe we have a slight chance.

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Corporate Hustler

As you may recall from previous posts, I've been successful in my Corporate Hustler role. May latest quest is to get another promotion so that I can stop breaking my neck under this glass ceiling. It seems like I was successful again since my management has submitted my name to jump to the next salary grade, but history shows that it's all talk until it's seen on paper or in the check. The powers that be has some little game they're playing, I think it's called stalling, or procrastinating. Or maybe it's more like a tease, or a trick. Kind of like that new Subway commercial where a sandwhich is hanging from a stick attached to the front of the car. The lure of something that's supposed to be waiting for me is supposed to be creating better performance, I guess. In the meanwhile, I'll be looking to execute my game, of finding another offer to force someone to make a move. I think putting this in writing will keep me focused.

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Thug Rappers Suck (cont.)

Will the ignorance ever end?
DMX Arrested After Flight Disturbance
LONDON — Police arrested rap star DMX after he refused to put on a seat belt and became abusive on a flight from New York to London, authorities said Monday.

Thug Rappers Suck!

I was happy the other day, because FINALLY, blacks weren't dominating the news' top stories. They were all prominant whites getting busted for messing with underaged girls. One was a judge! But this brief moment of elation didn't hide what I was really feeling. Disgust at all these thug rappers. They SUCK!

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Now, their music is tight. I can bounce my head to their beats all day. But so many listeners are living their thug lyrics, and exercising their violent nature back towards them! I guess it's asking too much for them to learn a better way, so the trend of Hip Hop violence will continue.

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I'm watching the Busta Rhymes video, and thinking how tight it was for him to bring all these folks together... like a "We Are The World"... thug style. Like he was following KRS-1's "Stop The Violence" and uniting for what's right. But someone had a better plan, shot up the video shoot, killed his bodyguard.

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The latest incident involved the local Atlanta rapper T.I. getting his entourage shot up in my home state of Ohio. Cincinnati has always been slow, maybe they'll get a clue in the next decade.

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We also have Proof from D-12 got shot in Detroit. Some rappers I know nothing about: Big Hawk in Houston, Keith Bender over a game of pool... The list goes on & on. And I'm getting tired of it. I need to get back to volunteering to do my part to break the cycle.

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French Guys Head Butt

You know the formal way to greet your friends in many countries is to do that fake kiss on both sides of the cheek? It looks weird when 2 guys do it, right? When I was in Paris, I saw two guys do it the cool way! Instead of the kissy kissy, cheek cheek thing, they did the head butt thing! It starts with obligatory hand grab, to keep that body separation. Then its the head butt. I learned something new!

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WASP = Kryptonite

How do you take all the manly attributes away from a man? Ask him to knock down a wasp nest. I think my hot tub makes it attractive for these pests to build nests under my deck. I saw 3 of them the other day! So I sprayed when I thought they were sleep. Then went out the next day to knock 'em down. I really hope none of my neighbors saw me. I'm out there with a shovel (cause they have a firm grip on my deck!), trying to knock down the nest and get a running head start at the same time! Of course, it took about 3 attempts before it fell. After all the antics and adrenaline used to knock down one, I was worn out. I'll knock down the other two later. Hopefully, when my neighbors are sleep as well!

Priceless Relationship Advice

As usual, I can't stay at home. So I spent the weekend in Myrtle Beach. During the road trip, a topic came up, that became a theme for the entire weekend! I gave advice on what it takes to keep your mate happy in your relationship. Since there was someone there who's relationship just took a huge downturn, the message had even more value. Everyone appreciated the knowledge so much, I will share it with my blog family.

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Firstly, we all know the 4 things that men want. I never could finish the list that women want. But that's besides the issue. To have a long, healthy, & happy relationship, the fundamental basis must be met. The man needs to be THE MAN in the relationshp. And the woman needs to know that she appreciated & needed.

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I don't write real long blogs, so I'm going to get right to the point. The Man is supposed to be the Head of the House, the provider, keep everyone safe & secure. It doesn't matter if the woman makes twice as much, big & strong enough to kick everyone's behind, or the one who manages the family's financial affairs. He needs to know that the woman needs him. Whether the needs is emotional, financial, intimate, security... he just needs to know that he is needed. If feels that he is not needed, then he will not feel valued in the relationshp.

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Generally speaking, men don't have have a problem when they meet a strong, independat Black woman. They have a problem when she preaches that she doesn't need a man, and thus not need him. He doesn't have a problem with her being financially sound, and have twice as many degrees. There is a problem when his decision is not respected.

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But relationships are a two-way street. The man needs to realize that his woman works real hard to make the relationship work. So he needs to show appreciation, and provide her what is that she's looking for. To find out what that is, you'll have to, uh hum..., talk to her, ask her. Find out her Love Language. If it's Words of Affirmation, flower her with loving words. If it's Receiving Gifts, surprise her often. If it's Quality Time, make sure you schedule your day appropriately. If it's Acts of Service, you can't afford to be lazy. If it's Physical Touch, be willing to snuggle & hug often. If you don't show your appreciation, and you don't give fulfill her need as listed above, then she will have a problem staying in the relationship.

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I know this is not everything, but it is a basis for a successful relationship. Let the man be the man, and he will be the man. His needs are easily met. If he always has to buy dinner, can't enjoy his sports or whatever his passion is, not allowed time away from you (without an argument), not allowed to relax in peace, he will have a problem. But that's another blog topic.

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If the man is not responsible, not appreciative, not giving, not protetive, then she is not going to feel valued in the relationship. Buy some flowers, buy some gifts, snuggle a bit, cut the grass, wash the car, fix some things, defend her honor, earn her respect.

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A surprising topic was based on the scene in Crash when the husband did the logical thing to not intervene when his wife was being sexually mollested by the police officer. If he did react, he would've gotten beat down, at least 10 years in prison, and possibly killed. But he lost her respect because he didn't at least try. It was just a movie. But, generally speaking, men would rather die with honor, than live without respect. In the movie, he decided to live without respect, and that marked the end of their marriage. Surprisingly, most of the women on the trip said that they would want their man to do something, to try to defend them, even in a situatiion where he would put his life & family in danger. What a dilemma for a man! To risk his freedom or life to try to stop his woman from being disrespected, or stay alive and free and risk losing your woman's respect and lose the right to call yourself the Man in the relationship.