Sunday, June 19, 2005

W.A.S.P.

OK. It's been a week since I posted. I don't see how you guys do it! I hove no wife, no kids, and still can't find the time to blog as often as everyone else does. Being busy at work and watching the NBA playoffs is probably why. Just saying, I'm jealous. I have a lot of twistsed thoughts to express, just can't document them fast enough!

For example, have you ever had the crap scared out of you while handling your b'ness in the bathroom? My manlihood left me quickly as I let out a yell (I can't scream) when I saw this about 4 inches from me! ===>>>


Last Week


I survived my crazy presentation last week! Customer & management is pleased with how the presentation went. But I see now why folks have secretaries. I really need a promotion so I can have someone obligated to take care of the little things that I overlook, like sending a properly collated package to the print shop. My packages had 300 pages!!! Aside from a few packages missing a section or two, it all worked out. :-) 300 pages!!!

I walked on my lead, and he was asking me questions about skiinng. WTH? Found out, he is submitting my name for the company to consider nominating me for "Black Engineer of the Year" awards. Maybe I'll be considered for "Most Promising" or "Biggest Hustler". Anyways, I'm optimistic.

This put my corporate hustler plan back into action. I counted up all of the certificates I have collected, and bought frames for them at lunchtime. An hour later, my cubicle looked like a Walk of Fame! Image is everything, so a positive message shoud be sublimily transferred to every visitor. My bubble quickly busted when I found out a decision I made last week was elevated to my supervisor. After he spoke with me, he told the 'punks', my decision is the same as JezChill. I'm going to be sure to call them out tomorrow and tell them the next time they have a problem with what I say, come to me first. Don't they know who they are messing with? Don't sleep, they'll be working for me one day! LOL (That was an evil laugh)


Movies


EVERYONE in Atlanta has a hustle. Except me. Is it because I'm content with my Salary? Lazy? Unmotivated? Wait, maybe I do have hustle! I went to a casting for a paid movie extra role last week (Tyler Perry's Family Reunion)! OK. Getting $50-$75 doesn't count. This past Saturday, I auditioned for a speaking role!!! I didn't put much thought into it. Geckogirl was gone, and I was anxious to get out & do something.

So here I am, in a hotel lobby filled with wannaa-be actors. Wait a minute. I saw that guy in a movie before! OK, maybe I'm out of my league here. I received a sheet of paper after I registered, I had 4 lines. This can't be too hard. I just got through speaking before a room full of folks that my job depended on, so it should be easy to speak 4 lines in front of a camera, right? After waiting 2 HOURS!!! for my turn, I read my part opposite this guy who speaks 2 lines in this scene. I'm ready! i don't even need the paper. Director tells me I'm playing the role of a professional basketball player, camera lady tells us to stop stepping out the camera angle, and "ACTION!"
   [Quincy] Yo, can I get your jersey from up
there?
(pointing to my jersery that's immortalized
at the top of the gym)

[Sean] (That's me) Not that one, but I'll get
you one.
.
.
.
.

Eery silence! Did I fuck up already? I looked at my cheat sheet, then asked the director if someone was going to read the other 2 characters that are in the scene! I swear... black people. He apologized, and we went through it again.
   [Quincy] Yo, can I get your jersey from up
there?
(pointing to my jersery that's immortalized
at the top of the gym)

[Sean](That's me) Not that one, but I'll get
you one.

[Dean] I'll take you the hole & dunk on you!
(grabbing the ball out my hands)
[Sean] (Me again) Maybe so, but can you take
meto the library or bookstore and show me a
good book on investments?

((To everyone)
Can I talk to you guys for a second?
{ad lib}
[Sean] (My last line) Look, if you don't want
to hear what I can say, I can leave!

"CUT!"

So that was my grand attempt at getting my hustle on! I saw a couple other folks audtioning for Sean. They were SHORT! I'm 6'2". Maybe I'll get it by default.


War of the Roses


Remeber, I told you these damn Japanese Beetles were having orgies in my neighborhood? Well, the following day, I looked more closely at my garden and trees. Would you believe these bastards have ate up parts of one of my rose plants and the top of my Oak Tree? This is WAR!!! i bought some insecticide and sprayed everywhere! Here are pics of one of the leaves the beetles ate, and top of my baby Oak tree. I couldn't get my digi cam to focus on the leaf, but the blurry brown empty mass used to be a full green leaf. The white stuff is the insecticide.

13 Comments:

At 9:24 AM, Blogger WIP said...

You were right. It reads like a lot is on your mind... between the "don't sleep" you had to put on your co-worker(s) and "them bastard bugs". It'll get better. At least you got an awarded-out-Holly-cubicle-walk-of-fame! That's how you show 'em what you' workin' with. Maybe you ought'a tell 'em to start head-hunting for you a secretary, Mr. Black-Mac-Engineer-of-the-Year! I would love to hear of your accomplishment (when it takes place). As far as wife and kids, you will bave a lot to bring to the table, so "The Man" is just working out the details for the "right" one.

"Kewl," six-two, eh? I often wonder how tall some of you guys are. I guess you have no problem climbing rocks and stuff? I'm only five-two-and-a-half. Frick it. I gone and claim five-three, most times.

Don't worry about not being able to blog. At least when you get the chance, you have much more interesting stuff to share (than those of us who have too much time on our hands, be messin' 'round with frickken templates and posting two-line topics; them crazies need to get a life. Or a job! Wait, that would be me I'm referring to, LOL...that was a deranged laugh). Regardless, you got a fan in me; I'mma read your stuff even if it takes you weeks to post and another week to complete said post. Ha ha.

 
At 12:51 PM, Blogger Don Tate II said...

WASP: I had a family of those in my family room recently. I think they were hornets though. Had a hard time getting rid of them. I can't scream either, unless its a spider. Then Ill scream like a girl.

Best of luck on the Engineer award. Sounds like with your leadership skills, you deserve it.

 
At 4:30 PM, Blogger Sheron said...

Bugs seem to love you :). Invading your personal space and whatnot. LOL

Good luck with the acting hustle and your nomination for Engineer of the Year!

 
At 12:17 AM, Blogger DatFuule said...

LOL. You went out like a lil biotch over a wasp. Did you swoon? You'll take runs that make Sonny Bono's fam gasp in despair, but start damseling over a wasp.... smh.

 
At 11:36 AM, Blogger Rainmayun said...

I dont understand how you had time and composure to PHOTOGRAPH the wasp while you were on the commode, yet you were freaked out about the whole thing.

they have ways of making people look tall in hollywood. how else could shorties like tom cruise and larenz tate be stars?

 
At 12:17 PM, Blogger Jez Chill said...

Proactiff: Come to think of it, I'm actually 6'1 1/2" I always have to over explain when I'm next to someone who's 6'2". :-\

Don: Wasp, Hornet, I don't know what that thing was. I guess it came through the vent.

Datfuule: I'm fearless when I know what awaits me. But I think any guy would freak out when they realized a wasp may attack the closest part of your eposed body, which in this case, was the most sensitive & precious part of my body!

Rain: The fear left me 2 seconds after I saw the ceature. I guess it liked my Charmin, cause it was still there after I handled my b'ness. That's when I took the pic, right before I killed it!

 
At 4:38 PM, Anonymous SweetB.... said...

Now that was a funny entry. I mean, I dont know what I was laughing at more, the wasp and how you jumped when you saw it, then ran out to get the camera..or the reading and how you were supposed to improv the others' lines....funny...

 
At 12:38 AM, Blogger desertrose said...

omg - that was the funniest thing i just saw - WASP!! i just laughed so hard seeing that, that would def scare the sh*t out of me!

hey, i do the same thing!! 5'3 and 3/4 is 5'4 to me! :)

 
At 1:49 PM, Blogger E to the dwige said...

LMAO! Dude if you get the role..I'll say I knew that dude the blogger who barely blogged named Jez Chillin'. lol! :-).

 
At 4:38 PM, Blogger Jez Chill said...

SweetB: Glad I made you smile!

DesertRose: Scardy Cat!!!

Edwige: Just for you, I changed the note under my name to say "Weekly" adventures instead of daily. A lil more accurate, huh?

 
At 1:53 PM, Blogger muffin said...

LMAO @ your unpleasant bug experience!

 
At 8:06 PM, Blogger coley said...

Hey there weekly blogger... LMAO! I would have screamed at the wasp and then I wouldn't have known how to kill it or what to do...EEK I ate bees, bugs, snakes, spiders, etc... And where I live, there's a lot of everything!

Don't worry about not blogging for a week, I feel the same way. Why post when you have no time to do and are rushed! It doesn't come out the way you want it cause you're rushing.

Ok sorry for blogging in your comments section!

Happy Weekend!

 
At 8:07 PM, Blogger coley said...

Oh damn... I forgot to say congrats on the award! AND, don't you hate shady ass people that go behind your back! RAT BASTARDS!

I think I'm done this time. :)

 

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